What is an Iron Jaw good for? Eating bigger cheeseburgers. So this is #WeeklyFood, where I’ll be predicting each NFL regular season game throughout the year!! I’ll tally up a record, and at the end of the year, will see how I did.
Before I dive in, I want to set a goal for myself, to make this a little more interesting. Through the 17 regular season weeks, I would like to predict 65% of the games correctly. There’s 256 games in a season, and I’ll want to hit at least 167 to reach my goal.
As I set a goal, I’ll also set up a punishment, or an incentive. Since this is #WeeklyFood, I’ll aim to hit 50% of my games each week. If I fail in doing so, I’m going to eat some nasty food on Tuesday, differing on what’s in the pantry. But to top all of this, if I do not reach my goal of 65% games picked correctly this season, I will eat the worst thing I’ve ever mixed together in my life…. Pinto beans and chocolate syrup.
Now that we’ve laid the foundation for this year’s #WeeklyFood NFL Picks, here I begin with the opening week of the regular season!
Steelers @ Patriots :: New England
I say this because Bell is missing this game and Brady is not. Coincidence? There are no coincidences.
Packers @ Bears :: Green Bay
I would love to pick the Bears in an upset, but come on now. Would be an upset, and I still give the Bears a 25% chance.
Chiefs @ Texans :: Kansas City
This may go either way, but I say the Chiefs can get this one. Believe it or not, quarterback play will be the difference maker.
Browns @ Jets :: Cleveland
Two of the most dysfunctional teams in the NFL, and I have to take the road team. Each defense is legit, but these offensive units will be horrendous in September.
Colts @ Bills :: Buffalo
The Bills are a good home team and that’s where my confidence will be at. However, if any quarterback can go in and win there, it’s going to be Luck.
Dolphins @ Redskins :: Washington
It pains me to do this, as I feel I support the Miami Dolphins with the people they have in their organization. Miami’s favored with the line at MIA -3.5, but I will pick the Skins and Cousins/Morris. I’ll likely watch this game.
Panthers @ Jaguars :: Carolina
I typed up three-lines worth promoting a Jaguars upset, but just couldn’t do it… Panthers fans are going to be vocal on my social media this week, and that’s fine. You beat up a terrible Jaguars team.
Seahawks @ Rams :: St. Louis
This is my upset pick. Seattle’s favored by 4, and if they had Chancellor, it’d probably be 5. I think will be a dirty NFC West game with the Rams getting the edge at home.
Saints @ Cardinals :: New Orleans
You know, the Cardinals are favored by a point, and I don’t know why. I love New Orleans in this game, with no disrespect intended for the Arizona defense.
Lions @ Chargers :: Detroit
I’m only doing this to see if Matthew West is reading… But yeah, I actually do like Detroit on the road. The line’s slated towards San Diego, but I can see the Lions going in and winning. Golden Tate can perform on the West coast!
Titans @ Buccaneers :: Tampa Bay
The better of the rookie quarterbacks? Marcus Mariota. The better of the two horrible teams? Tampa Bay. Tennessee just has NOTHING! Could be picking 1 or 2 in the spring.
Bengals @ Raiders :: Cincinnati
I’m not buying into the Bengals, yet I love the future of the Raiders. But it’s not January, so I’ll take Cincinnati. We should not be surprised if Oakland wins, however.
Ravens @ Broncos :: Baltimore
Another AFC North team I’m not buying into (I don’t like any of them this year, really). Denver I actually like if Peyton’s healthy, but the Ravens need revenge for when they came to Denver a couple seasons ago in that Thursday opener.
Giants @ Cowboys :: Dallas
There’s always that theory to pick against your favorite team, so you win either way, but I think I will be happy with a team and a prediction win. Would be different if Cruz and JPP were healthy.
Eagles @ Falcons :: Philadelphia
Oh my goodness. I’m just going to assume the Eagles stay healthy for three quarters, enough to eviscerate an unwatchable Atlanta defense. PHI -2.5 is the line, but this will be decided by halftime I imagine.
Vikings @ 49ers :: Minnesota
San Fran’s field is bad, which favors the Niners, but you can’t lose what you did and expect to come out on Monday Night Football and win against what many believe to be a rising Vikings team.
So there are my picks! I’d appreciate it if someone could go deflate some balls if you live by any of the stadiums, to help me win and avoid the nasty foods.. ;)